Solitaire - The Power of One

I learned to play Solitaire when I was just a wee tot at my grandparents' summer cottage in the '80s. I remember sitting in my little red wheelchair at the coffee table, looking for direction from my Papa who sat across from me on the couch, puffing away on his pipe as he laid out the cards in front of me. "Lana-Bana, black on red, red on black, work your way down from King." Like any other game you eventually reach that win/lose moment. UNlike any other game, however, in Solitaire you are the one who decides whether or not you keep going. Maybe you missed something that would ensure the rest of your cards made their way to the coveted four decks, aces on parade. Win! Keep going. Maybe you're left flipping three cards at a time, over and over to no avail. Lose. Either way, it's all you. You can switch up the rules, reshuffle and start again or just stop altogether, go drink some eggnog and play again later. Whatever. It doesn't matter because your only opponent is YOU.

At the risk of sounding like a self-help book on the shelves at Barnes & Noble, you are in charge of you. You've got the power. You (I) need to remind your(my)self of that time and time again, especially when falling for someone new for all of the wrong reasons. It's almost like you can foresee the heartbreak. Wouldn't it be nice to opt out of the game, mostly because you've played before and it wasn't pretty? Just turn off the feel switch and move on? If it were that easy, I bet Solitaire would be the broken-hearted population's game of choice in order to preserve and protect themselves from future breaks. Please don't mistake the message, though. "Solitaire" (the song) is not about building walls or letting fear win. It's about finding independence, confidence and inner-strength when you need it most.

I showed "Solitaire" to my producer, Steve, almost three years ago, at the same time that I showed him "I Wasn't Crazy." His eyes lit up for "Crazy" and he was less than thrilled over "Solitaire." It was okay, though, because at the time it made sense for me to work on "Crazy" as the feelings were fresh and it was the newest chapter in my story. (It's all about timing.) I tucked "Solitaire" away with the thought that it might never see the light of day again. I was writing a ton and putting so much of my energy into perfecting my new material that I didn't think "Solitaire" would care--but it did. It kept knocking on my door and I kept bopping my head and tapping my feet to it. Listening to my messy, unorganized demo, I craved to recreate it. I was a bit addicted to the hook and I thought, this song is by no means a masterpiece, it isn't going to break any musical molds but it makes me smile and it makes me feel good. For that reason alone I felt it was important to get it out there as it may give someone else all of the same feels.

As Steve and I began to build production, I had already decided on a vocalist and was very excited to work with her. She was someone Steve gave me the name of a few years ago that I absolutely loved but needed the perfect song for. Well, over the past few years she found much indie success as the lead singer of a Boston-based band and was unable to join my project when I reached out to her. She was sorry but she was relocating to New York City, going on tour and recording her band's next album. I was truly excited for her but very sad for me. I stupidly assumed that because no singer had turned me down yet she would be no exception. I was crushed. I began looking for other singers but my heart just wasn't in it. Everyone sounded the same to me, I heard nothing special, I felt no sparks.  I was ready to throw in the towel and put "Solitaire" in my Demo's 4-Evah catalog. I was feeling pretty defeated.

I bet you feel a "But then..." coming on. Am I right?

But then (yes!) one day I was listening to covers of Hailee Steinfeld's "Starving." I love watching other singers' takes on popular songs. This wasn't research anymore, it was just me obsessing over a new song and wanting to hear every imaginable version of it. In my jam session for one I came across Brazilian artist Anny Dias. I listened to her over and over. Talk about a voice that totally catches you off-guard. My ear drums were tingling - her voice was unbelievably cool. So cool that I listened to her entire YouTube channel (more than a few times), her SoundCloud page and found her on Facebook. I recognized this feeling. I had a bad case of Vocalist Obsession (stalker!) and I was determined to add Anny Dias to my growing list of featured artists. 

You'd think the odds would've been stacked against me when I realized Anny lived in Brazil. I wavered ever so slightly--I did--but I wasn't giving up. I had nothing to lose and decided to send her a message. As I began writing I remembered that it was 2016 and FaceTime/Skype sessions existed. Hopes? UP. Way, way up. We could do this! Anny responded quickly to my message and she was excited. I had to read her response a few times to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. They were not! She really wanted to record my song! But who was I? Just a stranger from a few thousand miles away. (That sounds like a song lyric...filing that one away for later.) Seriously, though, I could be a total scam artist pretending to be a songwriter. How would she know? For some reason, however, Anny decided to trust me. I was pretty psyched and didn't even totally pause to think about obstacles, I only forged ahead. 

English is Anny's second language and even though she can sing it beautifully, Skyping/FaceTiming wasn't ideal. We settled on emailing. Not only is Anny a singer but she is also a songwriter, producer, guitarist, pianist, videographer and recording artist. She has bucket-loads of talent, to say the least. She is also sweet, open-minded, creative and willing to do whatever I asked for the song. Although working with Anny was relatively easy, considering our only communication was through email and Facebook messenger, it showed me that working this way required much patience. It's a completely different experience for me not having live recording sessions with the singer of my song. Instead of giving her notes in real time (i.e. "sing it higher here," "throw a harmony in there," "let's try some ad-libbing") and receiving instant results/gratification, I spent hours alone listening over and over to each and every vocal file she sent, making notes and sending those notes back to her. It's not easy to get your tone, point and meaning across in emails. Not only that, but I missed the working relationship and personal connection I developed with other artists when working face-to-face in the studio. Regardless, Anny proved to be a total professional, understood each and every note I gave her and delivered an incredible vocal performance. Her voice is so unique, her accent adding a huge dose of special to "Solitaire." Although Steve loved Anny's voice, he wasn't convinced that her accent was going to work with the wordiness of the song lyrics, making things tricky with timing and clarity. We tried cutting some words and rephrasing but I was too married to my lyrics at that point. In the end, Steve worked it out (no surprise there) with only some minor nagging and whining on my part. I have loads of faith in Steve and his talent so he doesn't mind. Right, Steve?

Since we weren't working with Anny in person, our sessions didn't always require a recording studio. While we started out in the studio, Steve also worked at his home studio in Newport as well as traveled to my house on the south shore a few times. It was a different way of working for us and, for this particular project, worked out okay. That being said, I definitely prefer the energy, hi-tech gear and sound-quality of a recording studio. Let's just say the Altec Lansing computer speakers I received as part of my high school graduation gift don't really do much for the ears. Then again, how many people can say they've kept their subwoofer and speakers for 20 years and still party like it's...1997?

Recording guitar was one session we definitely needed to book studio time for. It wasn't until Anny's vocals were in place that I became convinced guitar was the missing component of the song; what would give "Solitaire" it's "love handles," so to speak. Although Steve had a guitarist he planned to  record with at his home studio, I felt strongly that it had to be a guitarist whose talent and passion for playing and recording knew no bounds...no offense to the guy Steve had in mind. For this particular project I wanted a musician that I trusted and was already familiar with my music, so I asked my friend and insanely talented musician, Cory Paza. If you've kept up with my blog you already know Cory played bass at my Hard Rock show a few years back. He also directed, shot and put together my first music video for "Euphoria." Cory killllssss at bass and also plays drums and guitar, is a member of about twelve different bands, produces, teaches, directs, photo and video-graphs and, well, is pretty much the jack of all trades in the music business. Our session was a total success with Cory's melodic ideas, professionalism, comfort in the studio and, most importantly, super smooth playing. "Solitaire" finally sounded like the song I heard in my head but couldn't quite make happen all by myself. Excitement ensues.

After a LOT more of Steve's magical production dust, my notes, his tweaks, my patience and our time, "Solitaire" was complete. Rough mix one, two, three. Final mix one, two, three, four, five, fiveA, fiveA2...Master. MASTER!!!

I made a promise to myself that I would be an open blog about my journey, discussing not only the ups of music-making but the downs, too, as is life. Writing "Solitaire" was exceptionally easy, as I'm alone with my own thoughts, ideas and creativity. If I want to change something, I change it. If I love something, I leave it. Recording "Solitaire," on the other hand, was one of my most challenging projects to date. When it became time to add others to the mix (punning!) I began to get a bit, er, annoyed, to put it mildly. Not only do opinions and ideas oftentimes clash, thus causing me to question my own ears, but it is also very trying to work around others' lives; to fit into each others schedules all while making sure the music remains a priority. Patience quickly runs dangerously low--or out altogether. It can get incredibly frustrating, especially when you become too convenient. That's one thing I've learned over the years: Don't become the "okay, no problem!" girl. I still matter and so does my music.

That being said, I would never choose to make music alone. Yes, I'd like to better understand production software, know my way around an orchestra and even dream of building my own recording studio someday, but only to become a better musician. So while Solitaire may be the game of choice when it comes to protecting my heart, when it's time to make music -- GREAT music -- I want all hands on (the) deck. 😉

Click on image to listen.

Please, if you're a fan of smiling (who isn't?!), check out the Official Video for "Solitaire" featuring all of my little loves. My niece, nephews, cousins, and babes of my closest friends are not only the stars in my sky, but they are the stars in my video. Pretty darn special if I do say so myself. Every time I watch this video I laugh, I cry and I am reminded of how fortunate I am to be on this musical journey, for every mile seems to get ever more beautiful the farther I go.

"Solitaire" has also had some presence on the air waves thus far. Not only did it premiere on 95.9 FM WATD on New Year's Day but it has been played on Boston's #1 Hit Music station Mix 104.1FM and has been picked up for regular rotation on over 60 radio stations in Europe via Deuce Music Radio show. Whaaaaat!? One little idea turned into one bigger song which turned into one heck of a ride. The power of one.

Thanks for keeping up with me and my music and for your continued support and love. I'm living my dream right now, people. Completely.

DreamBig,
Arlanna

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From Jersey to Boston - Snow & Rain Collaborate

Who can forget New England's Snowmageddon 2015? Not me, that's for sure. Not only did we break the record for snow amount totals in New England (over 110 inches, Harvey Leonard recently reminded me), but it appropriately marked the beginning craziness of "I Wasn't Crazy." 

About a year ago my Dad and I took a ninety-minute (normally forty-five minute) ride into our snow globe of a city. We were greeted with absolutely no parking on Newbury Street and no snow removal from the sidewalk ramps. Dad and two very kind strangers picked me and my 300-pound wheelchair up and over the snow piles all for a thirty-five minute listening session with Steve Catizone, producer on this and other songs of mine, at Cybersound's Studio B. Then it was ninety-plus minutes back home. "Lana," Dad said, "maybe you could make it a video chat next snowstorm?" He didn't really mind all that much. My Dad secretly loves our adventures, not to mention it gave him something to complain about for the next few weeks. "...then, we turn on to Newbury and wouldn't you know, they plowed ALL of the snow to one side of the street! Not ONE parking spot. Not one!" You're welcome, Dad.

That frigid February day I played three song demos for Steve. The first was a definite no, "not feeling it." Second song sparked a bit more interest and a "mmhmm...okay, we could definitely do something cool with this." Neither one of us was sold on it, though. Finally, after much trepidation, I hit play on the third and final demo I had with me. "I Wasn't Crazy," originally titled "Air U Breathe," was a song I wasn't sure I was ready to dive into quite yet as it tells about a hurt that I know I will never get over. Even though I had listened to my demo more than a thousand times, it felt like I was listening to it for the first. Hearing notes I forgot I played, listening to words I forgot I chose; the song was both risky and bold coming from me. When it was over I looked up at Steve who was wearing that familiar, wide-open, light-behind-his-eyes look. "This is the one," he said. I knew he was right. It was time.

Beginning work on this song wasn't easy, to say the least. While my main concern was how soon we could schedule our next session, Steve's was making the big move back east. After years of producing artists in L.A. he was returning to his roots, as well as closing up shop at his Boston studio, Sanctum Sound - my favorite place on earth. If you follow my blog, you know how much I loved that underground haven. If you know me, you know that I absolutely abhor change, especially when it prevents me from making music. Put those two things together, add in my "straight-jacket" song and I was truly a joy to be around for the next few months.

Deciding where to go from that point -- Should I work with someone new? Could I handle the difficult feelings that came with working on this song? Would I have time to take on another project while I waited? -- was a challenge. Fortunately, other music projects did fit perfectly inside this time slot and made the days pass quickly. Before I knew it, June had arrived and Steve was back. We were finally able to have our first recording session for "I Wasn't Crazy." With Sanctum Sound now gutted and filled with cubicles (ouch, it hurts to even think about), we tried somewhere new. It wasn't pretty. I'll say this, the ride wasn't...bad. Exact location and name will remain undisclosed, however. If you'd stepped foot into Sanctum Sound for thirty seconds then followed it up with this place? You would cry, too. Sanctum Sound has ruined me as far as recording studios go. #Truth. We did get back on track, no pun intended. 

The work we managed in that first session, despite having only one horribly static-filled speaker available, was enough to help me put aside my four-months of pent-up frustration and get very excited about finding the perfect vocalist. "Crazy" was heading down an R&B avenue and, because I was so close to the song, we felt a male singer with a killer falsetto would be ideal.

Usually we spend a lot more time building the production before we are ready for a vocalist. This time was different. This song actually needed the vocalist to even find the rest of it's layers. I was settling in for what I thought would be a long few days (weeks?) of listening to and looking for singers, (one of my most favorite parts of this process) and then, well, this happened:

• 12:00 p.m. - Ear buds in, clicked on YouTube app, searched "male R&B vocalist."
• 12:01 p.m. - A gazillion search results appeared. Started at the top with plans of working my way down, one by one.
• 12:02 p.m. - Clicked on the first video; somebody named Yuni Rain singing a cover of Nick Jonas's song "Push." 
• 12:04 p.m. (-ish) - Search over.

Four minutes. It's rare, I know, but there's this feeling you get when, after a few hurdles, the stars decide they're going to align for you. That's what happened when I heard Yuni Rain for the first time. I went into my usual stalker mode following Yuni on all of his social media pages. Not only did Yuni have the voice (holy shhhh did he have the voice!), but he had this incredible way of connecting with every lyric he sang whether they were his or someone else's. His levels of emotion transfixed me. That's how I knew. At this point if I wasn't able to get this guy to sing my song, I wasn't doing the song, period. The scariest moment for me was when I saw where Yuni lived. New Jersey. Not quite the hop, skip and jump I was hoping for. And here I am complaining about my ninety-minute ride into Boston, tsk, tsk. My Mom has always said to me since I was a wee tot "Please don't get your hopes up, Lana. I hate to see you disappointed!" Too late, Mom. I was either going to Jersey, or Jersey was coming to me.

After e-communicating for a few weeks, Yuni and I decided to "meet" over FaceTime to discuss the song and a possible plan. We ended up talking for hours. I can't explain just how fantastic it is to talk "songwriter" with another person without getting that glazed over, shut-the-hell-up-already look. In between conversation, Yuni serenaded me with my song and many of his own. He has mountains upon mountains of talent - not just singing, but writing and producing, too. We probably could've spent days discussing our songwriting pet peeves and techniques, sharing the meanings behind each other's lyrics and teaching each other Boston/Jersey slang, but we decided to continue it at our upcoming session. That's right -- Yuni and I officially became collaborators on "I Wasn't Crazy." Cray-cray, right?! He was looking forward to spending some time (his first visit!) in Boston (Dad was only a little relieved that he didn't have to trek me to Jersey) and I began counting down the days to his arrival. 

Despite the fact that Cybersound's Studio B, where we ended up recording and completing "I Wasn't Crazy," doesn't hold a candle to Sanctum Sound, Yuni Rain, Steve Catizone and I had a pretty epic session. Making music with these two is an experience like no other. I watched in fascination as the two of them infused my song with their own magical, musical brews. We spent hours creating, talking, singing, laughing and listening to music. We forgot that the outside world even existed, at least I did. I didn't even think about food for a solid eight hours! That's pretty much unheard of for me. The Snow/Rain recording session is one that will go down in history. It will be encased in a lighted glass box in the Songwriting Hall of Fame Museum...in my mind. 

After months of mixing (the most torturous part of this entire process), tweaking and mixing again, we reached the version of "I Wasn't Crazy" that made me stop and say "Okay, now I can hear it on the radio." I set my goals high for my songs, I know, but it's just what I do. 

Away on a Girls Weekend in November, almost nine months since we started this project, we were in bumper-to-bumper traffic in the middle of Providence. My friends felt strongly that there was no better time but the present to listen to my new song. "C'mon, Lana! Let us be the first to hear it!" Peer pressure, girls? Really? I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the very familiar symptoms of F.L.A. (First Listen Anxiety): layer of sweat across my forehead and down my back, heart palpitations, inside cheek-chewing, hair twirling, nervous eyebrow twitching. But guess what? None of that happened this time. Instead, I listened along with them, not through them, to every note, every word Yuni sang and how Steve weaved it so perfectly together and I just smiled. It was different, yes, maybe even one of those songs you have to listen to a few times to decide if it's worthy of your playlist. More importantly, it was a chunk of my life that caused a bitch of a storm inside of my soul for so many years. However, on that unseasonably warm November night, surrounded by my girlfriends inside of my minivan, I felt like I could finally begin to let it all go. 

Over the last few months "I Wasn't Crazy" was officially released by debuting on British radio station The Radio Alternative with DJ Matt Barker, got a lyric video (made by yours truly) and received additional airplay on Boston's Hit Music station: Mix 104.1, thanks to DJ Matthew Reid. It may not be my most "popular" song, but it is a personal success in that it was necessary for healing purposes, a musical success in that I met and was given the chance to work with an extremely rare talent named Yuni Rain. Do yourself a favor and watch his videos on his YouTube Page. There's no doubt in my mind that you will be just as taken with his talent as I was (and continue to be).

"Crazy" Team - Arlanna Snow, Yuni Rain and Steve Catizone

Yuni recording vocals for "I Wasn't Crazy" at Cybersound: Studio B in Boston, MA, 2015.

Stay tuned - 2016 is bringing some changes and always, always more music!

dreamBIG!

~Arlanna

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